September
2007
The Approach Defined
This is BOOT CAMP MATERIAL and most likely my biggest article yet So READ UP. This is definitely the meatiest, up to date dissection of my thoughts and feelings towards whatever this is that we're doing. And you're getting this info free of charge care of Charisma Arts.com and yours truly.
Before that: Life updates: I'm headed to DC this weekend to do a boot camp, and when i come back I am scheduled to take a dreadful nursing proficiency exam, then right after the exam take a cab straight to the airport as I am headed to Amsterdam, the Netherlands for a special Euro-Charm School.
I am also going to meet with one of my top students who will assist and help wing throughout the boot camp. Will I use this opportunity to plug the Amsterdam Charm School? Damn right I will. If you're in the Belgium/Holland/Germany Region: Sign up for it. I cannot even begin to describe the mayhem that will occur over there. The combination of me and one of my top students "The German Falcon" is a sight to see and will drop your learning curve a good 80-90%. Matter of fact, he's flying in early to scout logistics for you.
Now, onto business.
To those that do keep up with my blogs on the CA site and my masterlife blog site, you all know that I build heavily on conveyance of personality, developing universal charisma, and killer instinct logistics. That's my way of internalizing and personalizing my game from what I've learned from the Juggler Method and thousands of experiences in the past.
Opening
Fact: Can i teach guys 10,000 openers? NO
Matter of fact, I suck at teaching opening verbiage. Thats because I DON'T BELIEVE IN IT. I Don't believe in having the "right words to say"
How do I know that a student has grasped natural game? When 80% of the time the kid can't even remember how he opened after getting the number, the kiss, the date, or even the lay.
Heck, I can't even remember most of mine.
If you understand the simple physiology of what goes on in approaching strangers, you would not give a $#!& about openers and focus more on conveying your personality and finding out hers so the situation can allow the seduction to naturally happen.
Be a charismatic natural, not an approach artist. As a Charisma Artist, you should be able to speak your mind ANYWHERE ANYTIME. THAT is the difference between us and mechanical routine guys. You can throw us to your second cousin's birthday bash, invite us to have dinner at your mom's, or hang with your boss, and we know when to chill, have a good time, talk to people, and have everyone we meet love us, including very attractive women. You don't need sets of verbiages for everything you do, thats ridiculous. Why did I choose Natural Game? I'm 26 years old, and I've got a hundred things to accomplish in life and people to take care of. Most of all, I truly believe that having fun, attractive women is just a byproduct of that lifestyle. I have a hundred role models that I personally know who actually live that lifestyle. It is effortless.
First, lets think MINDSET.
What do I think about when i approach: NOTHING. ZERO. Its pretty hard for guys to embrace the unknown and embrace chaos, but once you do, and you train yourself to do so, you almost reach a zen-like state where you truly are not attached to any specific outcome. You have a moment of clarity; you say exactly what you think in any particular moment. Enjoy being formless, flow with WHAT YOU THINK is a great line for you in the moment. My belief is I would rather have said my honest to goodness thought aloud than have it kept it in the dark and miss an opportunity. That single thought prevents me from missing opportunities.
STOP VISUALIZING -- Approaching SHOULDN'T BE PERFECT. Stop thinking that your initial "line" will automatically cause women to drop their panties for you. Its just ego attachment.
How can you fear something that hasn't happened yet? Or how can you foretell a sure shot success interaction without trying? Got a spirit ball or tarot cards or something?
Point is, eradicate as much thought blockers as possible. If people have a problem with you speaking your mind, its their problem. Its only one person out of a hundred thousand possible interactions. Get over trying to please everyone.
Fact of the matter is, THEY DON'T KNOW YOU, therefore it can't be personal. Go in with again, a clear mind. Your approach can be "crap" in form, but the next ingredient to the mix will certainly override it and turn things to your favor.
Second point: BELIEF:
I don't have amazing lines. I just trained myself to speak my mind and to eliminate any inner turmoil that stops me from saying that. Do I care what people think of me? NO. Do I have fear of outcomes? NO. Do I have tangible success to back up what I say? YES.
If i am formless in execution, then I am hardcore in belief. I truly believe that everything that spouts out of my mouth is interesting, well-thought out, fun, and value-giving. Whether I'm talking about deep life lessons like I always do at Charisma Arts, or mentioning that the coolest hotel doorbell I've ever seen that tripped me out was in Singapore City. Heck, the other day I told a very attractive, successful real estate chick the other day about my damn root canal, and how I had fun watching Bourne Identity while the dentist was scraping away and injecting me with anesthesia. Take note i was calling her while half of my mouth was numb. What happened next? She was offering to meet me in a coffee place nearby because she thought my life was so compelling and interesting. Was it necessarily compelling by content? NO. It was compelling because It was compelling TO ME.
Believing in what you say will naturally project the next ingredient in the mix:
Third point: ENERGY
I'm going to quote Kory with his "go to the extreme philosophy" and add to that. If you don't know your extreme, then you cannot be balanced. Repeat that in your head whenever you think being super chill is how to get girls. Being super chill is cool, but if its the only dimension to you and you do not know how to party, well you get the point.
Does energy mean you have to scream, shout, and be a dancing monkey? Yes and No
No, because energy is just a mere projection of who you are. If you want to attract adventurous, exciting, and sophisticated women to enhance your life, well guess what: There is a f--in trade off: You YOURSELF have to have these amazing qualities. There's no free meal in this world, so work on your lifestyle, purpose and passion and PROJECT IT. Positive energies are attracted to each other.
Yes, in a way that YOU ARE AMUSING YOURSELF. Whatever you think is funny is funny. Do what amuses you. I've said the lamest opening lines ever (that I can't remember obviously, one time I tapped a can to open a chick on day game and called that the "can opener" to the amusement of my students) but BECAUSE I was VISIBLY ENJOYING MYSELF, the energy just overran any logical assumptions the girls had.
So, physically, I suggest that you become a person who is naturally excited about LIFE. F&*^ Downers! Life is Short and You should sleep when you're dead! You should be a guy who is curious and anxious to see what life brings him next. Take more chances and explore life.
SMILE MORE -- Don't be a downer. Life's too short to be too serious.
WORK ON YOUR VOCAL PROJECTION -- Don't be the quiet guy. Quiet guys are weird, and they scare people. Be Loud. Again, using Kory's extreme philosophy to achieve balance, If you are too quiet then I suggest going to a rave and just go all out. Shout, Scream, do what you must so you can find your extreme and THEN tone it down to a balanced level. Now you can calibrate and your game is multi-dimensional.
NUTRITION -- Nuff said. Poor nutrition = downer feeling and general weakness.
Next, PHYSIOLOGY
What happens when a person gets approached by a stranger?
The first thing that pops into one's head is
"Is this guy really talking to me?"
The reason most of you guys have difficulties getting anywhere past whatever opener you said is that they don't appear committed to the interaction. Girls can pick up subtle cues of commitment on your part and if they can sense that you're only 70% committed, then most likely they WILL hit you with 60% back which is not good. You want to make her feel 100% THAT YOU ARE PRESENT. You are there. You are talking to her.
SUBCONSCIOUSLY REPEAT THE WORDS IN YOUR HEAD
Girl: "Is this guy really talking to me?"
YES I AM!!!!
Girl: "really?"
YES I AM!!!!
Girl: "You sure?"
YES I AM!!!!
This subconscious "push" is what you will equip yourself with when talking to strangers.If you need to scream this affirmation then do so. It is a standard operating procedure in my boot camps and I have a very very low ratio of guys with approach anxiety (think 2/10). If you display presence, girls will respect you, and open up to you. And if they sort of don't open up, its because they're not so sure if you are actually there talking to them. BE SUPER SURE. YES I AM!
There, you are now well-endowed with my philosophies of approaching, and if you string these together with my previous articles, blogs, and what not, and have met me in the field or taken a boot camp or phone coaching from me, you will understand where I'm coming from. Is approaching the end-all and be-all of connecting and seducing women? NO. You will quickly realize that when you think you've learned everything, a new set of problems come right by in front of you.
So, love the chaos. Love the chaos.
Ciao, see you in a few weeks.
Troy
