October
2007
The Mental Photography Technique
One of the key skillsets to our method is speaking from the i-perspective as a way of escalating from the platonic to personal stage.
On this part of the blog i will discuss how to completely master the skillset of Mental Photography
“Know Thyself” — credit to Shakespeare
Part of knowing yourself is to be able to capture YOUR life, in all five senses.
When I’m not cold approaching, or converting to day 2’s, I actually go out and experience life. Yes, outside the hustle and bustle of being part of the best social coach stable in the planet, we do have lives.
I can’t speak for everybody in the crew, but with myself, i travel a lot, i run a few businesses, love going out, have a thing for mixed martial arts and dancing, and i love my family and close friends dearly.
When i experience life, this is what i am aware of: We have two eyes, five senses, a brain to process, and we can communicate
Hopefully, if you have all these, my advice is, use your gifts well.
YOUR PERSPECTIVE, THE WAY YOU FUNNEL THINGS THAT COME INTO YOUR LIFE, WILL CAPTIVATE PEOPLE.
Be a mental photographer to the point where you have captured the sights and sounds of images, experiences, and environments from every second of every day of your life. From as grand as a cruise vacation to Bali, to as mundane as doing laundry, you should have a firm grasp of what that experience is like. From the indoor casinos inside the ship that just mesmerized you and tempted you to break your wallet in half, to the day you had some weird stains show up on your $80 Ben Sherman button down while doing laundry because you used a dryer that had some grease on it. You MUST KNOW THE DETAILS
Yep, I sang on a plane and brought the house down
Ever work your ass off to get the body YOU want? Shit, I could break it down for you based on my story. I went from a scrawy, thin-ass 100 lb kid, to this:
I can tell you what its like to WORK. To work your ass off. To punch through mental barriers, and to stick to the program with hardcore discipline. I can tell you what its like for me to shove cans and cans of tuna and rice down my throat and how i loved every minute of it. I can tell you how the extra reps count the most; I can tell you that whatever you desire can only be attained by effort, discipline, and action.
I Have THOUSANDS of self-references for this. This is probably why I’m a dating coach. I make sure you know what it takes, and how rewarding it is to get what it is you want out of life.
So, back to business: how do we do that efficiently and be able to relay those in our interactions? Let me give you the concept behind it, then some specific examples on how i can make the aforementioned process happen:
Disclaimer: This could take time, but after you’ve mastered the ability to suck in experiences and throw them back in your interactions, pretty much you will be a walking, talking, fully relate able human being. That takes care of escalation window #1 and you will be deadly consistent.
Step 1: Be observant and take mental photographs –
Be detail oriented, in any of your activities. Experience life, go out and experience interactions, activities, environments…anything, and with your senses get a feel of what those experiences are like…
Step 2: LOG IN what you’ve experienced — key is to REMEMBER what that experience is like. If you’ve had a huge hard drive in your personal computer, imagine logging those experiences in detail.
What was in like in visual detail? Were there any sounds or noise in particular? How did you feel emotionally? Did you touch or feel something, and how did that go?
Even Better: Record it, Catalogue it, Videotape it: D0 a diary, blog, video, picture gallery, anything that will help you capture your moments better and increase connections to your referential system.
Step 3: Verbalize what you’ve experienced from your own perspective – THE CHALLENGE is to be able to relay those experiences from the i-perspective. Remember, people do have their own share of mental photographs as well, you just have to relay it sweet and simple, no fluff, and so they can relate real quick..remember from my first blog that people generally have THE SAME BASE LEVEL EXPERIENCES.
Here’s an example from JUST TONIGHT, when i was out practicing:
1) Tonight’s hiatus — I enter a dive bar i haven’t been in ages, i did a couple of sweeps around, had probably 3 out of 5 solid interactions that were sexual/romantic…the rest were more of networking/gaining new friends. I came in at 11, left at 130…i have a day two tomorrow at a girl’s pool house. Need some sleep.
2) By the experience, I remembered 5 things:
Ska-like hip hop band that sounded like a tribe called quest or the roots
The maze-like structure of the entire bar, every room is like, another surprise for me
Incredibly friendly people from all over texas, one particular cool guy named Sandman who brought his uber feisty (and drunk) daughter who literally mauled me right then and there
The mellow trance beats that increasingly got aggressive as the night moved on
I made 5 girls do the electric (dance?), called them my new entourage
3) OK So now i’ve logged in those mental photographs of my experiences in my hard drive…so let me give you some specific examples of how i could throw that back verbally into a conversation:
Easy openers:
eye contact, then …“wow, The maze-like structure of the entire bar overwhelms me, every room is like, a surprise or something, what do you think?”
while watching the band, come in and nudge: “this band rocks, and i cant explain why i like it…its like a Ska-like, hip hop band that sounds like a tribe called quest or something”
Building Comfort
You know what i like about you, its like you’re one of the really friendly people i’ve met tonight, okay you’re going to be part of my entourage, but you’re on the try out teams for now okay kid? You’re like, in the B Team till you earn it…(flirting)..so I’ve seen 5 girls do the electric dance 5 minutes ago, whats the coolest thing you’ve done in a dive bar? — show me –
Escalation
When we first met, the trance beats were kinda mellow, but then i felt it getting more and more aggressive as the night moved on! Okay stop, I’m getting too turned on here..lets go have a chat where its quiet…
As you can see, its fairly easy to speak from the i perspective once you get the ball rolling like this, Its as easy as — observe — adapt — verbalize back. At that point, you wont be thinking too much about material, nor will you be worried about rushing interactions either. It takes practice though, so if it works for you, pat yourself on the back.
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