29
November
2008
Hey Guys, I spend my entire day dishing the dirt on giving you guys some very usable material on my Mind Map Series. Today, I am dropping down mega-bombs of good stuff on how to become a social proof master.
If you guys have been to any social setting, or on easy cases, finished high school, then you know that having social proof is king. Social Proof is probably one of the key strategies “Naturals” use without them knowing it. When I didn’t know what i was doing, all i knew was becoming mister popular was such a desirable trait. Just like an attractive piece of stock, social proof creates a bidding war between women and people around you, thus giving you a power card to play.
What are the benefits of social proof?
- Value Affirmation (Yes, i said value. People in social settings are visual. They see you with other cool people, your perceived value goes up)
- Gaining Allies (Strength in numbers)…no matter what people say, a group of 10 can defeat a group of 2. Once of the main goals for massive social proofing is to gain countless allies — girls who will help further the seduction, girls that will make you look even more desirable, girls who will cockblock for you, guys who will offer to “back you up” and protect you, buy you drinks, and tell HER you’re the man. I once did Social Proofing SO WELL at this club that the entire group WENT HOME SIMULTANEOUSLY! I was shocked! They liked me so much that they were happy for their friend to be taken home by yours truly.
- An increase in CHOICES and OPTIONS — when you’re starving and you get one dish, you NEED it. Put yourself in a Las Vegas buffet and you could care less about the outcome because you’ve got too many choices. This allows you to screen, taste-test, and eventually make a smarter choice when it comes to women you’ll meet in a bar or night club.
THE BIGGEST MISTAKE when guys approach and meet women in social settings is that they pay too much importance to the progression of the interaction. They initially start good, then they continue to occupy the person’s time too much and become more like a nuisance in thought. It gets to the point where the woman’s saying - “Who is this person?”, “Why is this person talking to me?”. or “When will this guy leave?”
If you’ve taken any of my workshops or have recieved some phone or skype coaching, you’ll soon find out that in a social setting, I find it best to hit and move. Like a kickboxer you get better with movement and flexibility, not putting a big deal on any one single interaction.
1)Approach a group FIRST over a single woman — having a group by your side as allies is just undeniable.
2) When you introduce yourself, speak your name LOUD and CLEAR — you don’t want to be remembered as “that guy” or “i don’t know who he is–guy!” If the venue is so loud, make a funny “code name” by putting a fun word behind your name like “Raunchy Ricardo” or “Naughty Nick” or “Talladega Troy”, and this makes a quick reference every time they see you and they will make an effort to remember your name or code name.
3) Take time to ask logistical & group hierarchy questions such as “You guys seem like you’re having boatloads of fun, what’s the occasion?” or “Who’s the birthday girl?” Remember KEY NAMES (plug it down your blackberry if needed be) because later on, you’ll need em. If you listen to the Hollywood Asian Set Field Podcast, I blended in pretty well because i knew the birthday girl’s name and used it a lot.
4) Now open up your initial conversations, talk briefly, and like a confident likable person END your conversations at a high point, then move on and continue your activities. End your conversation with the group with “You guys are cool, I’ll see ya later…”
5) As you move on to another group and start chatting with them. Take the time to wave, raise your glass, or wink over to the initial group you talked to somewhere in the middle of the chat.
6) Learn how to put the 2nd group “on hold” by saying “Hold on for a minute, my buddy Jen is calling me…isn’t she adorable?” pointing to the first group. You then walk over to the first group re-initiating. This creates Social-Proof Magic!
7) If she’s with friends who are shy (guys or girls), merge both groups. Definitely assign some good accomplishment introductions for them… “Hey Nancy come here! (Wave over)….I want you to meet Doug, Doug meet Nancy….now my boy Doug here…invented a Facebook program called Love-Me, how cool is that!”
8) Now going to macro, you want to do a couple of cycles round the bar or lounge. First round, we’re acquaintances…Second round we’re now friends… Third round, we’re now ALLIES. Remember to think “FUN, Not Outcome”….”Meet and Increase Friends” Keep locking eyes, blasting warm smiles, clinking glasses or doing high fives…saying “I’m having a blast, are you guys having a blast???” Avoid negative people and seek fun, positive people as your targets for this.
10) Don’t forget though, that at some point you’ll have to CHOOSE A TARGET. Becoming Mr. Popular can get VERY Addictive, and can cause you a great ego boost because you’ll easily learn how to dominate a social setting and have nearly everyone and their mom’s love you to death.
A good way of doing so, is asking a question directed to the group — “So, what did you guys end up buying this Thanksgiving Sale?” Whatever the target’s answer is, for example:… “I never hit the stores on Black Friday, I’m too grumpy to deal with the crowds…” You can then focus your eyes and face her with your body and say say “Ah! Not a camp-out person eh?”
You may also use this as a reason to come over and talk beside her like “Ah….not a camp out person eh? I’ve gotten lazy too and plus i would get trampled on by 200 pound women waiting to get that laptop. I’m gonna talk to you know.”
11) Learn to be in an available, accessible position in the club — like in the center area, or on the huge couches facing everybody. So that as you’re chilling back talking to some hottie you can lock eyes with a person you previously talked to, yell their name, and with a come hither motion have them easily come to you. More Social Proof Magic!
Now, there are lots more techniques and strategies to become a Social Proof Master, ranging from beginner to advanced. If you practice these key motions i just described, you might end up pulling an operation as smooth as the guy from the GoodFellas, who we all know got laid at the end of the night. Just like in any skill this requires ACTION, repetitive practice, and eventually perfection. You will secure tons of contacts from hotties and cool girls alike, and the guys will want to party with you again because you’re such a Tornado.
Now, this Mind Map is Social Strategy Part 1/2. To recieve Part 2 of this series, which will be personally emailed to you by myself, all you have to do is create a Skype Account. And add me as a contact (handle: tdtroy10) and message me saying you wish to recieve part 2 of this Mind Map. Also provide me your email address. THAT’S IT!
All the best! And please comment and rate this post!
Troy
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29
November
2008
Ahhh the good ol’ Approach Anxiety. Will it ever go away? Does the fear of approaching an attractive woman (or a group of attractive women) still hound you?
If I said it could be eradicated, I’d be lying to you. Plus, if you eradicated that completely, then you know you’re gonna end up as a robot delivering lines and pieces that have no vibe or genuineness to it. Next thing you know you’re and busting out dental floss questions and reading palms…further taking you to an even darker place than you began with. FOR ME, I would rather adjust my mindset and how i vibe and present myself because seriously, the approach is just ONE ASPECT. If you guys knew there were tons more to work on to become that “24/7 Attractive Ladies Man” You’d shit your pants and realize you’re worrying about something that’s totally at the tip of the spear.
Tin Man Says...”Hey guys, do you think…the Rockstar Mick Jagger is hot? You’re very little…stack forward 2x”
24/7 Attractive Man Says….“You know what…..I thought…this place was filled with stand offish people…BUT! I was totally wrong! (CITY) people look very friendly!”
I always pegged myself as a macro versus micro guy. Not that I’m heavy on useful theory, but its just that I’ve tried to distance myself from teaching guys too much technique that reels them off of the big picture. Obviously, a boot camp with me is a lethal balance of both “bird’s eye view awareness” coupled with “specific pin point strategies and tactics.”
Anyways, since the classic posts on the forums have been deleted, i have received various emails and message requests on skype (handle:tdtroy10) on this age-old article that garnered 44,000 something views and had around 15-20 great reviews. This was written around 2 years ago and people still ask me if I still stick to this paradigm…and my answer is YES.
With the continuous evolving and improvements in teaching pick up nowadays, there are now strategies socially to decrease that fear of approaching a stranger. If you look at an old article of mine called: The Approach Defined, in one of my old posts here, and my recent post Statements vs. Questions, you’ll get some technical detail on how to pull it off.
Now, as technical as we are, I believe that vibe, is something that is cultivated on a macro perspective, not a micro perspective. Choose whatever side you want, but I’d rather NOT think about specific lines and deliver them with no genuine vibe like an effin robot. Mastering your vibe is a product of your mindset, attitude, energy, and overall desire to meet and connect with people. It gets cultivated over time and people must first recognize that so as not to be frustrated with the process.
So, let me tackle the mindset part, which is taken from this classic article i wrote years ago.
Now, granted some people never grew up this way…since this is modern America (or wherever), its still not too late for you guys to bring out your essence and see that meeting and connecting with people is an actual DESIRE of people.
Alright, here goes:
TROY’S WAY OF GETTING RID OF APPROACH ANXIETY (Released 11/01 2006)
Hey guys
Just wanna share my way of doing things. This is the same part of the lecture i give out in my weekend bootcamps and i certainly hope everyone who reads this can gain a thing or two because its helped student after student with their AA and Inner game issues. I just want to give back to theplace for being an excellent resource and a place of good camaraderie in the annals of self-improvement and seduction. This is also a key insight into my core beliefs and i hope it answers the questions on inner game/aa that everyone has sent me.
What you HAD THAT IS STILL IN YOU: YOUR CHILD-LIKE ESSENCE
Remember, when you were an innocent kid with no care in the world, what were your attributes?
a) You Approached People without Fear and Said What you Wanted to Say
I can remember talking to everybody wheni was a kid! Even until now i still remembermy little nephew coming up to girls, guys, whoever. When i was in a plane, i loved to walk around and talk to the flight attendants in the galley. When i had my 6th Bday in France it was hosted by an Uncle who had a Toupe and i told him “Uncle, your hair looks so fake” 
I remember being loud with girls in the playground and i loved making friends. My line was “hey i like you, youre my new friend”
b) You were persistent
Mom said dont take cookies from the jar? We never took NO for an answer. We persisted, tried different methods…”Please ma!” NO! “Oh cmon. (fakes crying)” NO! “maaaaaa…..” NO! “Just one, promise…” WELL, OKAY BUT JUST ONE!
c) You had your own world
I remember clearly when i was a kid and the WWE (then called WWF) had big names like Hogan. I’d dress up in my long socks and had made up elbow pads and shit. I also remember acting out darth vader by using a blanket as my cape. All im saying is that i had my own bubble, and i never had a care in the world.
d) You were curious
You saw things and people as unchartered territory that you had to explore. You were naturally curious. You chatted up people because you understood that theres something about them you dont know, and that youd like to find out.
e) You Actually SMILED AND LAUGHED MORE, and were PLAYFUL f) You were a RISK TAKER
If you saw a little 2 meter ditch in the ground, you’d probably jump it…..with your BIKE Screw the distance, it looks cool so lemme try it…moments later youre crying in pain but heck, you still did it!
Awesome, awesome attributes eh?
BUT GUESS WHAT
Maybe during your childhood, RULES CAME INTO PLAY. Suddenly there are all these authority figures telling you what you can and cant do. Your child like essence is starting to get covered up.
To protect yourself from harm, danger, fear, and embarrassment, (maybe in primary school) You become a rule-follower. You start playing life by OTHERS’ Rules and not your own.
It gets worse.
You get into more things to protect yourself. you cover yourself up with external things to increase your value (maybe cars, clothing, lifestyle stuff). nothing wrong with that, but the more layers pile up on your child-like essence, the more disconnected you are…youre starting to find it difficult to approach people and you think its actually weird or unnatural. Maybe you become the guy who just goes about his day and not smiling. You become more successful in other areas of your life and rejection is not an option. It is painful to you.
You stop being persistent and start sabotaging some of your plans. “Its not worth it” you say. “I’d rather play safe than take a risk”
You start to live in other people’s worlds. And try to accomplish success based on OTHER’s standards. You start watching reality TV and wish that you were that person. You focus more on what you dont have as opposed to appreciating what you have now.
You stop being naturally curious and assume and pre-judge people even before you meet them. You probably engage in gossip in the office. You see a girl and automatically you think of 100 things about her that you havent actually proven. So guess what youre not gonna talk to her and youre gonna go about your day. Since when did this happen?
THIS IS YOUR EGO
Years and years of piled up layers that cover up your child-like essence. Imagine a chocolate-covered peanut. Its the product of what the world imposed to you, as well as pre-judging others.
You have to get rid of it. how? Just remember your Child-like Essence (I just described on the first part of this article) and live that way. Strip layers of your ego down.Its not too late and im sure you guys can clearly remember what that was like. (Some exceptions though if you had a really rough childhood, i can understand that). I live my life this way personally and its taken me to heights that i previously would have never dreamt possible.
Good Luck,
TDTroy10 (my old handle)
Thanks to the guys who asked about where this article went. It didn’t vanish and luckily i was able to plug it into other forums and saved me my own copy (which I’ll do from now on to avoid it being lost)…
If some of you guys still have my old writings from the old CA site, I’d appreciate it if you guys emailed me a copy. I’d send you guys a large, lychee bubble tea but most of you are miles away. Just think i love ya (In a hetero-way, as my buddy Stone would put it). If you have any comments, suggestions, or questions, feel free to email me or skype me. I intend to get as much feedback from you guys and use it in the future to come up with better material.
Troy
masterlife Articles 1 Comment » |
29
November
2008
hey Guys!
I have gotten repeated requests on how to dissect some of my experiences and lessons from being and professionally teaching dating and attractiveness for 6 years now into some very concise articles. So, I have created a FREE Series called Troy’s Mindmap, in which i will have a host of relevant concepts dissected, from meeting women to relationships.
Today I decided to do Troy’s Relationship Management Mind Map 1/3
Back then i experimented with various roles and characters to see what was the most effective with meeting and keeping attractive and high quality women: I was the rock star, the entertainer, the aggressor, the laid back guy, the romantic, and the serious type. I believe all of these phases of learning were key to my success in figuring out things. My conclusion was that the better you become at tackling the basics and start gaining a butt load of experience, the more you’ll realize that you don’t need much of an effort to find and keep a very attractive woman. That’s why you’ll see a very attractive woman with a really chill dude who barely does nothing, and she provides him with everything — her beauty, her resources, her access to networks, and that amazing sex.
To some of you guys who are reading Self-Improvement books, are loaded with Positivity, and have so much “value to offer,” the following paragraphs might shock you and give you boys a dose of reality that you won’t like.
Women want dominance, but there is a missing ingredient in this that makes the male gene far more lethal and irresistible.
Imperfectness
Now, am I saying you should stop being positive, and being a value giver? NO. This is just an article for you guys to avoid really, really bad pitfalls you have encountered or might encounter soon.
There’s a problem with being too high-value or too positive.
By being too perfect, you will continually raise your status to not “high value”, but downright “Impossible to reach.”You’re just too damn good that women don’t feel any urge to really be involved in you. What really happens here is that you are shutting down a woman’s biological maternal instincts to care for you, serve and please you, as well as help you succeed.
Let me repeat that
A Woman’s biological maternal instinct is to
a) Care for you
b) Serve and Please you, and
c) Help you to succeed
Without this, a woman is going to lose her SENSE OF PURPOSE…she will lose her LOVE FOR INVOLVEMENT and before you know it she’ll be cheating on you with a broke, uneducated douschebag who had no one to spend Xmas with and asked to stay in with her.
She might be dating you now, but if you appear to be too perfect to her, at the back of her head she’s thinking you’re pretty “phony” or “fake”… there seem to be no problems with you and you’re probably keeping all of that bottled up and you don’t know how to emote — a normal human characteristic — hence the fakeness. What’s even worse is that down the line you take the role of “provider” and will have to provide in exchange for sex and other benefits from women.
Pretty Scary thought eh? Don’t worry guys I, and many of out fellow men have learned the hard way.
So without further ado, here are my BIG RELATIONSHIP TIPS for you excellent gents on how to handle yourself around women
Rule #1 Ask and you shall receive – let her know what makes you happy, what satisfies you, what pleasures you, and allow and encourage her to do those things. Whether its providing you with encouragement, emotional support, financial support or networking benefits, or really kinky, creative sexual acts. This, gentlemen, is KEY. If you don’t ask, how will she know, right?
Rule #2 Get Mad every once in awhile – its not always “all good” and you should let her know when she’s crossed the line every now and then. I will reiterate what i said earlier that the ability to emote is a normal human emotion. It means you’re REAL and normal.
Rule #3 Act Silly — acting silly is just great because it shows that you have uncontrollable tendencies. Shouting “Whoooohoooooo!”, singing loudly in the shower, and walking around the room naked with her are some examples (Credit: Gene Simmons)…its great to be silly and obnoxious every once in awhile to let her know you are still that Mustang she is continually trying to break.
Rule #4 Be the guy “on his way to greatness” versus a guy who’s “already great”…again if you look at the third part of a woman’s maternal tendencies its to help you SUCCEED. Remember, women have far more networks and resources such as yourself. They are busy and bored (credit: FJ Shark), and if they know you have passions, dreams and aspirations and you ASK (rule #1), then they’d be more than happy to be your stepping stone to that greatness. Women are beings of compassion and love, and well most people anyways have the heart for the underdog.
Rule #5 You WANT Sex, and expect GREAT sex from her. Women are great followers. Make it simple and tell her to come over and give you that amazing head from last week. Again, fulfilling your fantasies is something she enjoys doing, so allow her to.
So, there goes guys. I hope that even though this Mindmap could possibly be a puzzling mind fuck to you, I’m sure your mind is now flooding with past successes and failures more than I can even count. And hopefully this article answers the validity of the 20/80 rule in business, where you do minimal effort and reap maximum results.
For to obtain the continuation of this series, Relationship Mindmap #2, all you have to do is email me, or punch in your email on the next post, which is an email list collector for fans of the Mind Map series I’m currently writing. Or if you can’t wait, just email me at synergy@troydizon.com So i can add you to the invite list.
All the best and may your relationships be women a success!
Troy
masterlife Personal, Articles 9 Comments » |
27
November
2008
T-Pain: “Imma Buy you a drannk….THEN Imma take you home with me….I got money in the baaaank…”
Ahhhhh the media messing with everyone’s heads. If only it were that easy. You field players know what’s up.
This was inspired by a post replied by Poise on the forums.
In the beginning stages of the community, there have been tons of tactics, lines, and techniques on avoiding buying girls drinks, insinuating some sort of witty response. While this is a defensive maneuver, I don’t believe this is completely valid. People have been drinking alcohol for the longest time for many purposes: to loosen up, celebrate the end of a long day/long week, and plain get tipsy and drunk.
To me, what matters is simply avoiding women who have the intent to hustle you out of a drink. If you’ve been burned a few times by this, you would know. Its girls who force you into buying them a drink right off the bat, as a time window to continue.
Now interestingly, this hasn’t happened to me in a very, very, VERY long time. Just like my theory on how kids who get bullied look like they CAN BE bullied, I think that guys who look like they can get hustled on, DO get hustled on. Or at least women will try.
Now, IF this ever happens to you, say
“Maybe later….after I get to know you a little better”
OR “Maybe later…when I decide you’re cool enough” with a sly smirk.
Whats even more powerful is when she accepts this, and later on, in an unexpected time you decide to take shots! By doing this unpredictable act she knows that
a) you can’t be hustled
b) you don’t have ulterior motives on buying drinks,
c) AND you call the shots when you feel like.
Acts like these create immediate attraction and RESPECT from women.
NOW, Poise makes a good point that even if you do, DO NOT MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT. There have been times when i felt generous and bought 3 girls drinks, and later on 2 of the girls selfishly try to isolate me at the basement dance floor and proceeded to eat my face and take me home later. Its good to not think about drinks as another time window for you to continue. Don’t make a big deal out of it, be indifferent about it, and continue on.
Now, I talked about not to be the guy to get hustled on. Here’s what to avoid so as not to be categorized as such:
a) Avoid being the overly forward, overcompensating guy. This is why i don’t really go for this “attraction” or “buying temperature” game as much because I know it usually comes out as overcompensating. The interaction is not a team sport, and the girls soon realize you’re a target for buying them drinks for more time with them, and consequently being their dancing monkey.
b) Avoid appearing as the super high value guy. This is what the disqualification tool is for. Whenever girls overly tell you you’re a baller, or that you’re super cool without any effort on your part. Feel free to break that immediately by telling them you’re not and just like everybody else, you’re just simply out for a good time.
Now, on those instances that i PROACTIVELY CHOOSE to buy a drink for both of us, its usually because of a reward (for something equal or higher in value), or a celebratory thing to commence the emotional high point of the night. Sometimes girls also agree to this when i let them know I’m a lightweight, thus giving an excuse for her to leave with me or get sexual with me in an isolated place because I am “kind of drunk” which I actually am at that point.
I have had scores of women try to force this drunken state, in which i get isolated by them, and some fondling ensues quicker than i can say shazam. I don’t like the feeling of being drunk, however tipsy sex kind of feels good to me. Whats even more interesting is that in this process, the girls actually hustle FOR ME, forcing some poor guy to buy drinks for me and her. This happened recently in my trip to San Fransisco. This girl hustled one of the dudes that came with me for a drink, then after downing the shots, selfishly took me out to the dance floor to molest me.
So, here’s my final word on the whole buying drinks issue. I hope this helps beginner and intermediate folks alike, as well as help wanna-be playboys from common pit falls in bars and clubs that the average guy easily falls for. Happy Thanksgiving again to you and your family
Troy
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24
November
2008
Also seen on my new youtube channel, 247Attractivedotcom. and VIDEO VERSION at google video:
CLICK HERE FOR THE HIGHER RES GOOGLE VIDEO VERSION
On this Episode
- HOW TO BE RELATABLE
- DANCE GAME FOR STARTERS
- KINO ON DATES?
masterlife Uncategorized, Videos Comments (0) » |
23
November
2008
Hey everyone,
For the next week and the long Thanksgiving weekend I will take some time to answer and post here some of your most pressing questions on WHERE and HOW to meet attractive women from the cold and warm approach, to sparking attraction, prompting effort and compliance, to stating direct interest and what happens after the phone number or first date.
Take advantage of this opportunity by emailing me at synergy@troydizon.com
Hasta,
Troy
BTW …I am officially give women blue balls!
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19
November
2008
IF you’re a guy who does cold approaches on a fairly regular basis, you KNOW you’ve progressed into the initial entry when you’ve got your set “hooked”,
The easiest one for me is throwing out personal, relatable statements off the bat, and then shut up and let them relate to it thereafter. Delivery wise, i want to throw a preamble before it — which is a physical touch, or a sound like “heeey” to get her full attention…then talk slower and a bit louder…so that she absorbs all that is being said. Nonverbally i pull back a bit, by shifting my weight back, and pull a vacuum — which means i sort of freeze my face for an expected answer.
“This is (preamble to create tension and which the girl looks)…one of the most…upclass venues i’ve been in….No cover!”
Let’s say she says “yeah! it’s actually pretty nice! (you hold the vacuum)…I like the architecture”
NOW For beginners: The next part here is you must, at all costs, control yourself, from asking questions that seek information…OR control yourselves from making a compliment!
“I love this place because it has such a friendly vibe to it, which is really cool because i don’t like people just clustered together…”
If you wash, rinse and repeat it should create the same relate effect….
An Exercise i do is as much as i can with EVERY INTERACTION I THROW STATEMENTS ONLY.
When you get used to this, you can now adjust things to add more flirting or humor…
“I love this place because it has such a friendly vibe to it, which is really cool because i don’t like people just clustered together…like YOU and your cluster of one…where’s your tribe at? Where’s your incan matrimonial head mask? Did you just call me Incan??”
A humor bit will definitely bring out a laugh or a tease/flirt…again this should be calibrated.
Questions on the next blog entry…
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