24
May
2008
I’m supposed to be sleeping right now, but unbelievably i ended up chatting with two people who monumentally changed my life. It was because of them that I actually made those decisions which altered my life forever.
One, was a very good friend in high school, who i spent a full 2 hours crackin up with on how stupid and chumpy we were in high school. Yes I was chumpy once. And the memories were fun to remember, but were tough to live out back then. It was because of that chumpiness that made me decide to change when i hit Uni. It was a major step that started the spark.
And next, was my “first love” ex of 2 years (lost the v card) who broke my heart and started my player rampage at 19 years old. Until now as we chat on facebook, we still reminisce on everything. Although we never lasted as much as we wanted we both admitted that the sex was definitely priceless (especially the ones in public places like the library) and we really had good times under our belt.
Interestingly, the past feelings of being a loser, or anger towards my ex never even came back. Not one bit. I came to realize that I actually did not regret going through those tough times, whether being lady-less in high school, or going through a resentful, painful break up, because they were what made me into who i am now. It was because of those events that I made a decision that I stuck with all throughout.
Luckily through the pain i met a mentor who taught me this really awesome thing. When we were doing self-improvement seminars we would always do this activity to rid our clients of their baggage.
I remember we had our clients remember all the people who helped them, and hurt them. The ones who believed in them, and the ones who put them down. The room became very emotional. We had music playing too.
Our activity actually made a lot of people cry. The key to ridding baggage was actually saying these two things to these people you’ve met along the way…
And
I FORGIVE YOU
Its hard to let go of resentments if you don’t somehow accept that they are paths to how things work out in your life. The best thing to do is to thank these people (even through a whisper), and actually get the guts to forgive them, and move on. I remember when i did this, things eased off smoothly. i didn’t carry as much baggage and I was able to make those changes into a better, more self-actualized human being. 8-10 years later, I chat with these two people and reminisce over the glory days, and I am very much excited to see them again soon.
I know this is not a pick up topic, but I’m sure many of you out there still hold grudges and hard feelings in the past. Just search deep in your heart, thank these people, forgive them, and move on.
it takes a real man to do that.
Troy D
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7
March
2008
A potentiated insta-date. Day game can be real fun. Thanks to you guys who are continuously asking for content over here i’ve decided to write one tonight. This will be part of a series so just hang tight and enjoy.
On Opening:
A – Stands for attention. In certain parts of the world I’ve done day game, there are some actual chill places where people really have nothing on the docket and are just relaxing. But for some parts of North America, most people are on the go. People have programs running in their head – errands, bills, relationships, paid vacations, and what not. I’m pretty guilty of this as well. Even when I’m chillin’ I’m still on the go. Thus, it will be very hard to get my attention. Actually, there was only one bum who ever really caught me in San Francisco. And he did so cleverly.
I remember I was in the Marina in San Fran enjoying my day with a friend. We ran through a bunch of bums asking for money in pretty lame ways. This was until we got near the Pier. This guy, out of nowhere said “Hey, you! That’s illegal!”
The guy looked dead serious… And paused…didn’t say a thing
I looked like “what? What?” – he definitely got my attention by this time. Something no previous bum ever did.
He then goes – “Do you know…..that it’s illegal….”
I’m like “????”
“Do you know it’s illegal to be looking good in San Francisco?” Me and my friend start cracking up, candid camera style.
BOOM. He got me. It was clever enough that he deserved that dollar.
Point is, you have to get their attention, or your open can be defeated by that running program in their head. So, my suggestion is approach with a “hey” or “hi”…hold eye contact up until they look at you. Pause. Once you’ve gained their full attention, you can now deliver your conversation starter. It is important to break the program. Try having a buddy of yours role play by concentrating on a book, and you opening abruptly. 9 times out of 10 they can’t even hear what you’re saying and you will have to repeat yourself. It’s best to avoid that situation using the aforementioned opening delivery. Now, this is applicable to women who aren’t looking your way, i.e. they’re browsing the shelves or doing their groceries. The program is even stronger on walking sets, but that’s another story.
One pitfall I’ve seen guys do is keeping the conversation topic-based, usually because of focusing their conversation on the item that they used to open with. I call this the distractor. If I’m opening using a flopsy, focus, or a spontaneous opener, the presence of the distractor (i.e. the book, the spaghetti box) can impede my escalation. So what I do is I grab the distractor, by saying “that’s an interesting book, lemme see that…what’s it about…” then I close it, lower my hand carrying it, and ramp up to a personal conversation. If you can relate to this, you know what I’m talking about. Another alternative is introducing a distractor of your own (I always carry a book I’m an authority on when I’m in a bookstore). Even though the book can potentially create a topic based convo, it is something that matters to YOU and is a good leeway to escalating personally.
Alright boys, hope that helped. The next article will be about personal escalation. Anyhoo I am leaving the country next week and will be coming home to lovely Philippines. If you’re reading this and will meet me there. You know who you are. Every day will pretty much look like this:
=)
Hasta, and sign up on the Austin boot camp when i get back! You won’t regret it.
Troy
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11
February
2008
This post definitely deserves to be here.
Stone runs his own Charisma Arts death squad in the Bay Area. He’s a very reliable compadre in the game and recently has been writing stuff that are golden, even when he’s sick with a flu (yet manages to get girls to his house to give him a “sponge bath”).
And by the way this isn’t theory. Its battle tested stuff.
We’ve been there, we’ve been one and we’ve needed one at some point or another. Sure it’s a great challenge to go out by yourself but to me personally, I consider pick-up a really good team sport. It fosters bonding, camaraderie and team spirit between brothers.
During the weekend, my usual wing (Serum) invited a natural to hang out with us. I can’t say it was totally a pleasant experience but every time he brings somebody new, I always tell him to explain to whoever the guy is about the basics of Winging. Unfortunately, not all newbies pick this up at the get go and they sometimes end up ruining sets, especially naturals. Anyhow here’s the concepts I usually put out there about Wing Dynamics.
Whoever opens the set gets the pick. The basic request. Of course we always want the prettiest of girls in a particular group and we usually go for it whenever the opportunity presents itself. However, the prettiest girl might not be the sharpest tool in the shed or may have something wrong with her and the cute girl in the group other than the prettiest might be Ms. Right, which brings me to my next point.
Observe before coming in. I usually remind new wings to not just come into my set without trying to figure out at least who I’m targeting. Do not just come in for the sake of coming in, which brings me to my next topic.
Do not come in if I don’t need you. I can’t be any more blunt than this but if for some reason you’re still dense and do come in, simply come in to just increase comfort levels with my target by building me up.
Help me when I do need you! If you see some cblocker coming in and ruining the dynamic of my group and you’re not doing anything, please come in and help me out. F*ck I’m not Superman.
Body Positioning. Coming into my set is easy but at the same time, be aware to not block me from any of the girls I’m talking to, especially my target. I’ve been known to rudely reposition wings if they happen to block me.
Do not ruin the flow. Listen to my conversation first before you start opening your mouth. I really hate it when a newbie comes in and starts creating a new tangent of conversation. For example, if I am pumping BT when I am sexually escalating the conversation in my set and then my wing comes in and starts asking what they do for a living, rest assured, I will not call you up anymore the next time I go out because you suck.
Do not hover. If you’re in my set and you’re running out of things to say, excuse yourself and move away. You can always come back whenever you do find your tongue again. Now this brings me to an important topic.
Tell me the sets you blew. This is important simply if by association I can be cool, by association I can also be a loser as well. I don’t want to have a good time with my target, then introduce her to my friends to find out that my friend (wing) said something crude to her earlier and ruins what I worked for.
Things I learned and I hope you learn too.
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25
January
2008
I’m BACK, from my long hiatus. I have worked back to back to back for the past 3-4 months, and I haven’t been writing any articles or anything, so I’ve decided to commit myself in making some key articles and pod casts in the next few days.
I’m going to make this article short and sweet, and Its about some really important things that I believe guys should avoid doing even BEFORE thinking about adding techniques and new stuff to their game. I believe that if this gets fixed first, you will be able to have a very strong foundation to work with, and learning the Juggler Method (or taking a live program) should be a piece of cake after that. Alright, here goes:
DON’T NUMBER ONE
Don’t make verbal comments and not commit yourself
See this picture? This picture tells me there’s some potential to the interaction. The guy is basically opening a girl in a supermarket, possibly with a loud voice, and has caught her attention. BUT he can mess it up IF he keeps talking to her from that distance. Don’t keep that far distance, walk over to around 2 feet from her, and engage her in a real conversation. This tells her that you’re not just some random bloke without balls.
No matter how small the girl’s response is to you, it is still some form of initial commitment. Once you’ve gained that initial commitment, your next options are to:
a) Speak from the I-perspective
b) Use open-ended statements
c) Use open-ended questions
If you have been reading up on the Juggler Method, speaking from the I-perspective lets her know about your unique thoughts, opinions, and feelings. Simply put, it is her e-ticket to your reality. There’s an entire explanation of this in Wayne’s e-book, archives, and is all over the forum and blogs. A simple starter is to use “I feel like, I feel as if, I think that, I thought to myself…” Use the words “I” and “Me.”
I love using open ended statements because they force commitments from people. It is used simply by taking out most of the facts and allowing her to question you, or put the pieces together in her mind. It’s a very subtle way of making her make an effort. So, don’t be so quick to convey factual information! Hang your words, pause, tell her you love 3 things about this supermarket and give only 2. When she asks for a third one say “Besides the kosher peanut butter and the sushi bar? Its one of the best places I can find cute AND “responsible” women…” which will definitely open another window when she asks, “responsible? What do you mean??? From there you can definitely ask some open ended questions and escalate to a personal level.
DON’T NUMBER TWO
Don’t “Hover” around your target
This picture says a thousand words, and If you’ve been in this position, you know what I’m talking about.
Once you’ve gone a few feet from her, I can guarantee you that you are “on her radar” and she knows you’re there! So there’s no point hovering around without directly opening her!
The next time you see that attractive someone in the book store next to you, Instead of hovering around, walk confidently, with a stronger, but more graceful pace towards her. Walk directly. If it is a day time approach there is not much kino needed, but you are required to deliver your opener in a loud, solid voice that will “break her program.” And get her attention. Keep your eye contact.
DON’T NUMBER THREE
Don’t twitch when she doesn’t give you the reaction you want
We’ve all been there. You approach and open with your best f—in vibe, your eye contact is straight, you seem to be having an “on” night, and you get this…
Sucks isn’t it? To most beginners in this community, they would automatically constitute as a blow out. Well, I disagree.
There are basically 2 reasons why you don’t get a reaction
1) Its a vibe/first impressions issue or one of the problems listed above
2) Getting approached by a guy came as a shock to her, and she honestly does not know how to respond to that, plain and simple.
3) There is some reason totally out of your power that caused it (bad break up, someone just died in the family, or the traffic cop just plain irritated her today)
Whatever happens…
A lot of guys I know complain that some Asian women here in the US are quite “bitchy,” and for the most some of them just need a little “warming up” to get into a conversation. Use the tools above to gain commitment, and understand that no matter what size, commitments are commitments. If you can get them to say “yes” in the first ten seconds, you can get them to tell you their life story in thirty.
I remember when I first moved to a predominantly Hispanic city I kind of felt the same thing, but the longer I practiced infield, I realized it was just a woman’s natural mechanism to separate the Men from the boys. By not giving guys a reaction, they kind of throw them off their game, and for most guys they see it as rejection and blow themselves out. If you watch some hallmark male actors (Pacino, De Niro, heck even George Clooney) you don’t find any twitching in them when they get tested by women or AK-47 toting bad guys. Now, I know, movies are fiction, but that’s what you want. This is very similar to poker. It’s a bluffing game, either you do or you don’t call their bluff on it.
Fact of the matter is, women have more infield experience than most guys. They’ve seen this “twitch” every time they’ve tested a guy’s integrity (even in approaching). This could be compared to a “shit test,” but the thing is there is no need to even give a smart-ass response. You can’t lose a game you never even played in.
If you don’t get a big smile from a girl, don’t twitch, don’t step back, and don’t act like you just got thrown off,
Look, you deserve an answer, so if you just hold your ground, she will give it to you.
Free yourself from getting what I call a pop* (a laugh, or some positive reaction) when you open. It will free you from blowing yourself out. Continue on and gain small commitments. The girl is just “slow-to-warm-up.”
There you have it. This might sound as a negative presumption article, but I believe that these have to be avoided at all costs, even before you add more things to your arsenal. Hope you enjoyed it.
Okay, Q&A time, there have been a lot of questions regarding my absence on the Charm School schedule. The reason for that is that I am fully booked on Private Instruction weekends all throughout February and the second week of March. Update – Spring Break is taken. So, unless you guys can show up in DALLAS, TEXAS next weekend, boot camps from me are going to get pushed back to April.
Get with me on that through email (troy@charismaarts.com) and we can iron out the details and I can answer your questions. The way I’m getting booked right now, you don’t want to be late, and I am not kidding.
And what about Vegas? As you know the Alumni Super Weekend is coming near this April, and all boot camp attendees (Charm School and Private Instruction) are welcome to join in this fun and festive event. Wayne, myself, and the rest of the crew are going to be there and you can expect some high-quality presentations (trust me, I’m in-the-know) and some good times from Sin City. So if you’re looking forward to that, it’s also a perk of signing up this March.
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20
November
2007
Focus on where your strengths lie — This is absolutely one of the most important “natural” characteristics. Like i said before, most naturals … they hang out in the same bar all the time, It can be their weakness at some point, but that’s irrelevant. Point is, you want to learn from what makes naturals, well…naturals. And yes, they do get tail.
Here are some strengths to take an inventory from — looks, status and social proof, physical strength, personality, hobbies, talents/passions, adventures, commonalities, etc….If anyone, and i mean ANYONE hates you for it, THEY DON’T HAVE ‘EM, thats why.
Looks — if you have a body type or look that works for you, stick with it and amplify it. Pretty self explanatory
Status and social proof — Work the club scene/school scene/church scene (?) There’s nothing wrong with being the top dog everyone loves. If you know people, then that’s good, end of story
Physical Strength — If you work out, and can perform a vice grip on a 6′2″ dude, or you can break faces with your Muay Thai training, let it stand out. Women love guys who can protect them.
Personality — ahhh, the ever elusive. Make sure that you actually have one that you can identify with. Don’t be confused by who you have to be as dictated by the community. If you’re naturally funny, keep that skill set. Hobbies/Talents/Passions — Make sure you have a NUMBER ONE. Whatever that is, make sure ITS NOT A GIRL. Make love to your hobby like she’s the hottest HB10 around. Trust me, this is why extreme sports pros get laid a lot without even really trying to make the relationship work. They do their thing passionately, the girls swoon and watch, the girls fill the remaining part of the cup with companionship and sex.
Commonalities — Look, I’ll say this again. Who you are will attract a certain demographic of women. Its one thing to stand out, but its also an advantage to blend in. If you’re trying to attract a certain chick, make sure that she can ***actually see you in the future with her.** This is why you can’t overdo any type of DHV stuff because too much too soon will make you nothing but a shiny disco ball in her eyes. If she’s into the sports thing, maybe its time you threw away those goth gauntlets and tone things down.
Guys, you don’t see Lance Armstrong trying out Pro-wrestling right? Yet he’s dating one of the Olsen twins from what i’ve heard. All he has to do is focus on that winning attitude, train hard, wear that yellow suit, and win the tour de france and aid the fight for cancer. Thats why we individualize our instruction. We want to know what you’re strong at, amplify it, and work a lot on the weak points.
The bottom line is we want you to SHINE. I for one, am not “traditionally good-looking.” I am 5′7″ in height (still arguable), but I focus on a lot of my natural talents and strong points, which gets me ahead of most other guys who don’t use what they have.
Let me name some of what’s on my inventory:
a) Great first impressions and status
b) Asserting will and dominance
c) Charisma and mastery of social interaction
d) Dancing/Sexual Dancing
e) Purpose and passion
f) I generally have a lot to talk about — i.e My Mental Photography “hard drive”
Thing is, I’m not trying to be somebody else. If you notice, PERSONALITY and SKILL can trump all, and the aforementioned “strengths” can amplify those. So, my thing is i expand on things I’m interested in, and build upon those strengths. There are a thousand ways to pick up a girl, but I’ve chosen to work on those main parts of my personality to make my own style work. Doing so, will trump any ideas in a girls head that the traditional good looking guy has an edge, because, fact of the matter is, all those are merely *symbols* of how she wants to feel. If you can make her *feel* the emotions of being taken by a man, then her mantras and beliefs will MELT AWAY. Trust me, I’ve shocked myself time and time again.
Later
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12
November
2007
Most of the time, when I hit up a girl my main goal in an interaction is to find what makes her unique, and then genuinely appreciate her for her uniqueness. A phone number, a probability of a relationship, Sex — nothing matters at this point. Once I point this shit out, it’s game over.
I can do it at anytime in the interaction: the beginning, the middle, or the end. I do it on cold approach, on the phone, on my next day meet ups, etc.
This is the one thing you can focus on that can get you more girls in your life. Women want to know that you like them for their unique traits and that its not some fluke or some playerish attempt.
So you might want to ask yourself. What makes her unique? Explore it TOGETHER (meaning have her tell you why and don’t do it all on your own), point it out, and make it the warrant for your Intent.
Trust me, this is powerful, powerful stuff.
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10
October
2007
One of the key skillsets to our method is speaking from the i-perspective as a way of escalating from the platonic to personal stage.
On this part of the blog i will discuss how to completely master the skillset of Mental Photography
“Know Thyself” — credit to Shakespeare
Part of knowing yourself is to be able to capture YOUR life, in all five senses.
When I’m not cold approaching, or converting to day 2’s, I actually go out and experience life. Yes, outside the hustle and bustle of being part of the best social coach stable in the planet, we do have lives.
I can’t speak for everybody in the crew, but with myself, i travel a lot, i run a few businesses, love going out, have a thing for mixed martial arts and dancing, and i love my family and close friends dearly.
When i experience life, this is what i am aware of: We have two eyes, five senses, a brain to process, and we can communicate
Hopefully, if you have all these, my advice is, use your gifts well.
YOUR PERSPECTIVE, THE WAY YOU FUNNEL THINGS THAT COME INTO YOUR LIFE, WILL CAPTIVATE PEOPLE.
Be a mental photographer to the point where you have captured the sights and sounds of images, experiences, and environments from every second of every day of your life. From as grand as a cruise vacation to Bali, to as mundane as doing laundry, you should have a firm grasp of what that experience is like. From the indoor casinos inside the ship that just mesmerized you and tempted you to break your wallet in half, to the day you had some weird stains show up on your $80 Ben Sherman button down while doing laundry because you used a dryer that had some grease on it. You MUST KNOW THE DETAILS
Yep, I sang on a plane and brought the house down
Ever work your ass off to get the body YOU want? Shit, I could break it down for you based on my story. I went from a scrawy, thin-ass 100 lb kid, to this:
I can tell you what its like to WORK. To work your ass off. To punch through mental barriers, and to stick to the program with hardcore discipline. I can tell you what its like for me to shove cans and cans of tuna and rice down my throat and how i loved every minute of it. I can tell you how the extra reps count the most; I can tell you that whatever you desire can only be attained by effort, discipline, and action.
I Have THOUSANDS of self-references for this. This is probably why I’m a dating coach. I make sure you know what it takes, and how rewarding it is to get what it is you want out of life.
So, back to business: how do we do that efficiently and be able to relay those in our interactions? Let me give you the concept behind it, then some specific examples on how i can make the aforementioned process happen:
Disclaimer: This could take time, but after you’ve mastered the ability to suck in experiences and throw them back in your interactions, pretty much you will be a walking, talking, fully relate able human being. That takes care of escalation window #1 and you will be deadly consistent.
Step 1: Be observant and take mental photographs –
Be detail oriented, in any of your activities. Experience life, go out and experience interactions, activities, environments…anything, and with your senses get a feel of what those experiences are like…
Step 2: LOG IN what you’ve experienced — key is to REMEMBER what that experience is like. If you’ve had a huge hard drive in your personal computer, imagine logging those experiences in detail.
What was in like in visual detail? Were there any sounds or noise in particular? How did you feel emotionally? Did you touch or feel something, and how did that go?
Even Better: Record it, Catalogue it, Videotape it: D0 a diary, blog, video, picture gallery, anything that will help you capture your moments better and increase connections to your referential system.
Step 3: Verbalize what you’ve experienced from your own perspective – THE CHALLENGE is to be able to relay those experiences from the i-perspective. Remember, people do have their own share of mental photographs as well, you just have to relay it sweet and simple, no fluff, and so they can relate real quick..remember from my first blog that people generally have THE SAME BASE LEVEL EXPERIENCES.
Here’s an example from JUST TONIGHT, when i was out practicing:
1) Tonight’s hiatus — I enter a dive bar i haven’t been in ages, i did a couple of sweeps around, had probably 3 out of 5 solid interactions that were sexual/romantic…the rest were more of networking/gaining new friends. I came in at 11, left at 130…i have a day two tomorrow at a girl’s pool house. Need some sleep.
2) By the experience, I remembered 5 things:
Ska-like hip hop band that sounded like a tribe called quest or the roots
The maze-like structure of the entire bar, every room is like, another surprise for me
Incredibly friendly people from all over texas, one particular cool guy named Sandman who brought his uber feisty (and drunk) daughter who literally mauled me right then and there
The mellow trance beats that increasingly got aggressive as the night moved on
I made 5 girls do the electric (dance?), called them my new entourage
3) OK So now i’ve logged in those mental photographs of my experiences in my hard drive…so let me give you some specific examples of how i could throw that back verbally into a conversation:
Easy openers:
eye contact, then …“wow, The maze-like structure of the entire bar overwhelms me, every room is like, a surprise or something, what do you think?”
while watching the band, come in and nudge: “this band rocks, and i cant explain why i like it…its like a Ska-like, hip hop band that sounds like a tribe called quest or something”
Building Comfort
You know what i like about you, its like you’re one of the really friendly people i’ve met tonight, okay you’re going to be part of my entourage, but you’re on the try out teams for now okay kid? You’re like, in the B Team till you earn it…(flirting)..so I’ve seen 5 girls do the electric dance 5 minutes ago, whats the coolest thing you’ve done in a dive bar? — show me –
Escalation
When we first met, the trance beats were kinda mellow, but then i felt it getting more and more aggressive as the night moved on! Okay stop, I’m getting too turned on here..lets go have a chat where its quiet…
As you can see, its fairly easy to speak from the i perspective once you get the ball rolling like this, Its as easy as — observe — adapt — verbalize back. At that point, you wont be thinking too much about material, nor will you be worried about rushing interactions either. It takes practice though, so if it works for you, pat yourself on the back.
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26
September
2007
This is BOOT CAMP MATERIAL and most likely my biggest article yet So READ UP. This is definitely the meatiest, up to date dissection of my thoughts and feelings towards whatever this is that we’re doing. And you’re getting this info free of charge care of Charisma Arts.com and yours truly.
Before that: Life updates: I’m headed to DC this weekend to do a boot camp, and when i come back I am scheduled to take a dreadful nursing proficiency exam, then right after the exam take a cab straight to the airport as I am headed to Amsterdam, the Netherlands for a special Euro-Charm School.
I am also going to meet with one of my top students who will assist and help wing throughout the boot camp. Will I use this opportunity to plug the Amsterdam Charm School? Damn right I will. If you’re in the Belgium/Holland/Germany Region: Sign up for it. I cannot even begin to describe the mayhem that will occur over there. The combination of me and one of my top students “The German Falcon” is a sight to see and will drop your learning curve a good 80-90%. Matter of fact, he’s flying in early to scout logistics for you.
Now, onto business.
To those that do keep up with my blogs on the CA site and my masterlife blog site, you all know that I build heavily on conveyance of personality, developing universal charisma, and killer instinct logistics. That’s my way of internalizing and personalizing my game from what I’ve learned from the Juggler Method and thousands of experiences in the past.
Opening
Fact: Can i teach guys 10,000 openers? NO
Matter of fact, I suck at teaching opening verbiage. Thats because I DON’T BELIEVE IN IT. I Don’t believe in having the “right words to say”
How do I know that a student has grasped natural game? When 80% of the time the kid can’t even remember how he opened after getting the number, the kiss, the date, or even the lay.
Heck, I can’t even remember most of mine.
If you understand the simple physiology of what goes on in approaching strangers, you would not give a $#!& about openers and focus more on conveying your personality and finding out hers so the situation can allow the seduction to naturally happen.
Be a charismatic natural, not an approach artist. As a Charisma Artist, you should be able to speak your mind ANYWHERE ANYTIME. THAT is the difference between us and mechanical routine guys. You can throw us to your second cousin’s birthday bash, invite us to have dinner at your mom’s, or hang with your boss, and we know when to chill, have a good time, talk to people, and have everyone we meet love us, including very attractive women. You don’t need sets of verbiages for everything you do, thats ridiculous. Why did I choose Natural Game? I’m 26 years old, and I’ve got a hundred things to accomplish in life and people to take care of. Most of all, I truly believe that having fun, attractive women is just a byproduct of that lifestyle. I have a hundred role models that I personally know who actually live that lifestyle. It is effortless.
First, lets think MINDSET.
What do I think about when i approach: NOTHING. ZERO. Its pretty hard for guys to embrace the unknown and embrace chaos, but once you do, and you train yourself to do so, you almost reach a zen-like state where you truly are not attached to any specific outcome. You have a moment of clarity; you say exactly what you think in any particular moment. Enjoy being formless, flow with WHAT YOU THINK is a great line for you in the moment. My belief is I would rather have said my honest to goodness thought aloud than have it kept it in the dark and miss an opportunity. That single thought prevents me from missing opportunities.
STOP VISUALIZING — Approaching SHOULDN’T BE PERFECT. Stop thinking that your initial “line” will automatically cause women to drop their panties for you. Its just ego attachment.
How can you fear something that hasn’t happened yet? Or how can you foretell a sure shot success interaction without trying? Got a spirit ball or tarot cards or something?
Point is, eradicate as much thought blockers as possible. If people have a problem with you speaking your mind, its their problem. Its only one person out of a hundred thousand possible interactions. Get over trying to please everyone.
Fact of the matter is, THEY DON’T KNOW YOU, therefore it can’t be personal. Go in with again, a clear mind. Your approach can be “crap” in form, but the next ingredient to the mix will certainly override it and turn things to your favor.
Second point: BELIEF:
I don’t have amazing lines. I just trained myself to speak my mind and to eliminate any inner turmoil that stops me from saying that. Do I care what people think of me? NO. Do I have fear of outcomes? NO. Do I have tangible success to back up what I say? YES.
If i am formless in execution, then I am hardcore in belief. I truly believe that everything that spouts out of my mouth is interesting, well-thought out, fun, and value-giving. Whether I’m talking about deep life lessons like I always do at Charisma Arts, or mentioning that the coolest hotel doorbell I’ve ever seen that tripped me out was in Singapore City. Heck, the other day I told a very attractive, successful real estate chick the other day about my damn root canal, and how I had fun watching Bourne Identity while the dentist was scraping away and injecting me with anesthesia. Take note i was calling her while half of my mouth was numb. What happened next? She was offering to meet me in a coffee place nearby because she thought my life was so compelling and interesting. Was it necessarily compelling by content? NO. It was compelling because It was compelling TO ME.
Believing in what you say will naturally project the next ingredient in the mix:
Third point: ENERGY
I’m going to quote Kory with his “go to the extreme philosophy” and add to that. If you don’t know your extreme, then you cannot be balanced. Repeat that in your head whenever you think being super chill is how to get girls. Being super chill is cool, but if its the only dimension to you and you do not know how to party, well you get the point.
Does energy mean you have to scream, shout, and be a dancing monkey? Yes and No
No, because energy is just a mere projection of who you are. If you want to attract adventurous, exciting, and sophisticated women to enhance your life, well guess what: There is a f–in trade off: You YOURSELF have to have these amazing qualities. There’s no free meal in this world, so work on your lifestyle, purpose and passion and PROJECT IT. Positive energies are attracted to each other.
Yes, in a way that YOU ARE AMUSING YOURSELF. Whatever you think is funny is funny. Do what amuses you. I’ve said the lamest opening lines ever (that I can’t remember obviously, one time I tapped a can to open a chick on day game and called that the “can opener” to the amusement of my students) but BECAUSE I was VISIBLY ENJOYING MYSELF, the energy just overran any logical assumptions the girls had.
So, physically, I suggest that you become a person who is naturally excited about LIFE. F&*^ Downers! Life is Short and You should sleep when you’re dead! You should be a guy who is curious and anxious to see what life brings him next. Take more chances and explore life.
SMILE MORE — Don’t be a downer. Life’s too short to be too serious.
WORK ON YOUR VOCAL PROJECTION — Don’t be the quiet guy. Quiet guys are weird, and they scare people. Be Loud. Again, using Kory’s extreme philosophy to achieve balance, If you are too quiet then I suggest going to a rave and just go all out. Shout, Scream, do what you must so you can find your extreme and THEN tone it down to a balanced level. Now you can calibrate and your game is multi-dimensional.
NUTRITION — Nuff said. Poor nutrition = downer feeling and general weakness.
Next, PHYSIOLOGY
What happens when a person gets approached by a stranger?
The first thing that pops into one’s head is
“Is this guy really talking to me?”
The reason most of you guys have difficulties getting anywhere past whatever opener you said is that they don’t appear committed to the interaction. Girls can pick up subtle cues of commitment on your part and if they can sense that you’re only 70% committed, then most likely they WILL hit you with 60% back which is not good. You want to make her feel 100% THAT YOU ARE PRESENT. You are there. You are talking to her.
SUBCONSCIOUSLY REPEAT THE WORDS IN YOUR HEAD
Girl: “Is this guy really talking to me?”
YES I AM!!!!
Girl: “really?”
YES I AM!!!!
Girl: “You sure?”
YES I AM!!!!
This subconscious “push” is what you will equip yourself with when talking to strangers.If you need to scream this affirmation then do so. It is a standard operating procedure in my boot camps and I have a very very low ratio of guys with approach anxiety (think 2/10). If you display presence, girls will respect you, and open up to you. And if they sort of don’t open up, its because they’re not so sure if you are actually there talking to them. BE SUPER SURE. YES I AM!
There, you are now well-endowed with my philosophies of approaching, and if you string these together with my previous articles, blogs, and what not, and have met me in the field or taken a boot camp or phone coaching from me, you will understand where I’m coming from. Is approaching the end-all and be-all of connecting and seducing women? NO. You will quickly realize that when you think you’ve learned everything, a new set of problems come right by in front of you.
So, love the chaos. Love the chaos.
Ciao, see you in a few weeks.
Troy
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24
September
2007
This is a question I’m sure most of you have been wanting to be answered.
From one of the forum members back at the CA Forum:
I’d like to see what instructors think of this. there is no way to get better without bootcamps?! i mean. i don’t want to hear ” a bootcamp will change everything”. i already think that. really. but i have absolutely zero chance to get in a bootcamp for at least a year..or two..or maybe ever..people of the third world’s country can’t count to 1699$ so easy…
what i’d like to know is : do we,the non-bootcamper, have any chance of gettin’ better? good? great?…or are we reading the forums. the blogs. hearing the podcast. for…NOTHING?!
i just want a little honesty…altough i realize it’s hard thing to do when money are involved. but in a way. that’s what JM is about,don’t you think?. honesty when smth u want[ money, sex, relationships…] is involved. so maybe some instructor can be true to himself and speak something up.
i’d appreciate greatly.
thanks.
=========================================================
MY REPLY:
I’ve traveled around the globe, spreading this amazing culture of ours, and I’ve met guys who have read the e-books, listened to the podcasts, and are GREAT in the field.
On the other hand I’ve met guys who have read ALL the ebooks, material, audio and video, and they are HORRIBLE in the field.
Differentiating Factor: Commitment and Action
Do you need to take a boot camp to take Action? THE ANSWER IS NO. I always tell guys that there is no secret when it comes to interacting with women. Almost everything is out there, for free at that. There are multiple forums, lairs, blogs, articles and what not. The most is what? Invest $30 on an ebook? This is the information age, and almost everything is online.
BUT as all of you know, only 8 to 10% would actually get their butt off the couch, dress up, and socialize infield. Only a handful will actually WORK and put maximum effort. I know the statistics, I used to be a lair president.
And guess what, out of those 8 to 10%, Less than half of that, will actually take things WAY FURTHER.
So now you know the statistics.
I’ve been to third world countries, a lot actually. And I’ve seen some really, really good guys. Here’s the thing though…
What i also noticed was that it was the guys who were successful at it were also the SAME guys who knew when to invest in themselves
The giant killer, in one of my field reports at the blog. He’s 5′0″, and was from the Philippines originally, and was a very loyal follower of everything game-related. Not only that but he practiced A LOT and listened to the things i told him back in his country. He fared really well and was one of the intermediate guys there.
Then a twist of fate: He migrated to the states to start a new IT job.
No idea on how to talk to women of another race, nothing. New world out of his comfort zone. That meant a new set of anxieties and fears.
Take note this was a guy who had never gone out of any culture previously. BUT he had the inner workings and mechanisms of a guy with commitment and effort. HE KNEW that it was not enough that he had learned in the Philippines and decided he needed professional advice. More than a year ago he asked for my services and RISKED some of his income which he was gonna invest ANYWAYS. He got the professional feedback, instruction, and guidance from my end. Now, ADD the action part….and voila.
This guy who was so scared of talking to white girls a year ago, gave a Tommy Hilfiger model oral sex in her car. From a cold approach
I’m not urging you to sign up if you have very critical funds, but the lesson is
KNOW WHEN TO INVEST IN YOURSELF
Another shining example of the same work in motion:
My current apprentice turned instructor Timmy, who is featured in the 10-second escalation video, was literally IN DEBT when he signed up for the boot camp. He read the book, he heard the podcasts, had an idea of approaching and interacting, but wanted more. He wanted a professional take on it, and he understood that if investing in this is what it would take, then he would do it.
He was decent, but he didn’t quite have an idea on how to take things to a higher level. Up until he saw us in action. From then on he never turned back. He knew it took ACTION. He made sure to go out every chance he took. He took the feedback, learned and went at it again.
Hungry for more, Timmy winged me on every Dallas boot camp after that (without being asked or paid), He showed me his commitment by assisting myself and Wayne over a few seminars, and consistently demonstrated to me his amazing skill in being charismatic and seducer.
Whatever $1300 bucks he spent doing what he did PLUS commitment and hard work, he already has recouped two, three fold. He has traveled with me over a number of boot camps. He has met some of the most amazing women he previously thought he could never even say hello to. He also walked away as a co-instructor I truly respect, and a man with amazingly improved game and overall charisma.
So, the lesson:
In General,
Winners run the same mechanisms in their head: They know it takes hard work, action and perseverance to get anywhere in life, and they also know when to invest in themselves and take risks.
Now, I do not know you personally nor do i know the readers of this thread, but i hope you guys can relate to the stories i had mentioned here, and wherever you are at right now financially, boot camp or no boot camp, I urge you to take the mechanisms of a Winner. it will take you a step further.
All the best guys,
Troy
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21
September
2007
Hey guys
So, life as an international dating coach is pretty daunting sometimes. If you’ve read my recent lay report from SA, it was easier probably because I’ve been out of town for so long that it felt like a nostalgic boost walking through the same streets and entering the same clubs that made my career in this field jump start and sky rocket. I had that back up of experience come with me, and my game was like venom once i entered the club.
But for most of the time, I am out of SA. I usually drive or fly out to other cities in Texas, as well as in places like Washington DC (next weekend), then straight up to Europe (in the Netherlands) the week after.
I’ll do a mission impossible quote by saying, “we can’t have relationships, and I like it that way…”
So, My solution is to have plenty well-established relationships in the cities I eventually visit. I enjoy the fact that I can have women who will take care of me, like pick me up in the airport, take me to dinner, show me a fun time, and eventually give me great sex…as well as the sexual tension that comes from it as i announce to them a few weeks ahead that I’m dropping by.
Now, most guys would love to have this life, and some won’t. Most would like one girlfriend who they can build a progressive relationship with and I can respect that.
But, if you’re one of those guys who likes to have and maintain multiple girlfriends, then, read up. Here are my big tips:
a) Limit your discussions to the relationship being fun, exciting, unpredictable, and incredibly sexual — remember the cardinal rule of escalation: changing dynamics keep relationships interesting. Keep it that way in her mind. When she thinks of you, she should be thinking of the aforementioned words. Make sure you highlight your personal stories on these precedents.
b) Don’t “allude” to a serious escalation — just like a boxer, you don’t want to telegraph your punches. Don’t make her think that the relationship is going to be serious. Don’t instill verbiages of “love” and “living in together” unless you are sure of this. I keep my verbiage theme to what i mentioned in a)
c) Turn off ALL judgmental mechanisms – you don’t want to tell stories on how you think so and so is a slut for being with many men, or make any judgments on how certain women look. You don’t want her to start thinking she is a slut. If you start judging people with her, then she will subconsciously think “what does he think of me??!” If she starts judging on other girls while you are out, don’t agree or disagree, just brush
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